Who knew having two fingers shoved up your back side could potentially save your life? As a gay man, I have had many experiences with the male caboose, but fingering has never been my forte, nor my favourite. I guess I've always been an all-or-nothing kinda guy when it comes to men's MUNTS. Turns out, taking a deeper look "back there" might save mine and my fellow male species' hides.
A month and a half ago during my bi-annual blood draw and checkup with my doctor, I received startling news: I had increased PSA levels found in my blood. I certainly didn't know what it meant at the time, but being told as a thirty-two-year-old that I needed to see a urologist asap startled me into submission.
Prostate-Specific Antigens (PSAs) are basically proteins created by the prostate to aid in semen development. PSAs are an essential part of our sperm, but their levels can also indicate the current condition of the prostate. As a nearly 33 year-old man, my PSA levels should have been flatlining at around level 2. Instead, mine were deemed as "elevated" for my age bracket sitting at a level 4.7.
It took several days before I could get in to see a urologist, and in that time, I did enough internet research to convince myself into thinking that I could possibly have the Big C. Considering the statistics for men when it comes to prostate issues, I had a small reason to worry.
According to the American Cancer Society and Cancer.org, Prostate Cancer is the most common type of cancer found in American men after skin cancer. An estimated 220,000+ new cases will be reported in 2015. Around 28,000 men will die from prostate cancer this year. 1 in 7 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during their lifetime. Prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer fatalities in American men, after only lung cancer. About 1 man in 38 will die of prostate cancer.
While all these stats sound daunting, there is a silver lining. Prostate cancer can be a serious illness, but most men diagnosed with prostate cancer will not die from it. In fact, more than 2.9 million men in the United States who have been diagnosed with prostate cancer at some point are still alive today. Early detection can be a key to better combating prostate issues. Getting examined can alert your doctor to early warning signs of cancer. Obtaining a second opinion is also strongly advised as well as having secondary testing. Other than having blood drawn, one of the best indications of your prostate's health is its shape and size: something that really can only be determined through a doctor getting a little fresh with his digits down under.
Having an increased PSA level can also be indicative of a few other things as well, including an infection of the prostate known as Prostatitis. Luckily for me, this was my case. Somehow I had developed a small infection in my prostrate. One further anal inspection by my urologist to verify that my butt almond was a good circumference and two weeks of antibiotics got me back right as rain. My PSA levels were back down to the 2s within a few weeks.
Having a prostate exam is not cute. I won't lie to you. It is a reasonably uncomfortable situation for all parties involved. I had never had one until recently, considering I'm typically too young to be facing any prostate related issues. Both times my doctor lubed me up and gently inserted two fingers inside of me, but the pressure and surveying of my insides with his fingers was not fun and ended up being pretty painful. Having someone your grandfather's age tell you to bend over, drop your drawers, and spread your cheeks so he can go fishing around your keister is not an enjoyable experience. It's embarrassing, it's degrading, and it leaves us in such a vulnerable position, feeling so violated, that most men would prefer to spend an eternity in baby shower/maternity class hell than have a prostate exam.
My 80 year-old urologist's 43 years of expertise didn't make the experience of having his extremities up my back side any better. The male equivalent of the "boob check" just ain't comfortable. But in the end, my life and health is worth taking a few for my own team. If you are a male and in your late thirties or above, I highly recommend taking the plunge and having èl doctoro stick two flight-attendant-exit-indicators in your bum to check that shit (no pun intended) out. Your life could depend on it.
