It is interesting to me to see how complacent people have become.
That and I question if people really understand what it means to "support" one another. In the digital age, what does support mean? How do we reach out to friends that we see on a daily basis on a social media site, that live 2000 miles away?
The Supreme Court hands down its decision on two landmark cases this week: The fate of Proposition 8 and the fate of the Defense of Marriage Act.
When oral arguments were presented for these cases in March, the Human Rights Council and millions of Facebookers changed their profile pictures to Red Equal signs in representation of Marriage Equality and equal civil rights.
Now that these cases will be ruled upon within the next few days, George Takei took to his Facebook page to ask his followers to once again go RED (change profile pics to the red equal sign).
I took this and ran with it. I immediately changed mine then reached out to probably 20 friends to change their profile pictures. I reached out to my 3 best friends to change theirs as well. Within minutes, 5 friends and two of my best friends changed their profile pics immediately. They know that gay rights are a big issue with me and they wanted to support me.
However, my main best friend- a gay man- did not. He waited several hours then text me that he didn't want to change his picture because he doesn't like fads. I told him that this is a movement, not a fad, and a chance for him to involve himself in something amazing. But I reiterated how important it was to me.
He said he would "check it out" but with conditions: that if he did change it, that it would only be up for a week and that he wasn't going to check his FB until later that day. He wasn't going to "spend his summer online".
So he goes online, within an hour, and teases me about all my posts about equality. Then he questions whether I've spent all day online...
So today, he texts me that he posted a link to my blog (which is my personal blog and isn't all about marriage equality) and writes or says nothing about his posting. In fact, my blog, this blog, has lots more than just equality postings. There are videos and pictures that aren't always so appropriate. So basically posting a link to my blog on his wall was useless and ineffective.
He said he doesn't like pushing things in people's faces. He said people do what they want to do and that he's learning that he isn't so passionate about gay marriage. (He lives in Washington now, a state that I personally fought to obtain marriage equality for.)
I said to him: "That is exactly how and why prop 8 passed in the first place. I appreciate the blog post but with no other comment or anything attached, it will get buried. Hence why we change our pictures.
You're right you cannot make people do what they don't want to do. You can only hope people will support you when you need and want it but at the end of the day it's you (me) who is at the reigns."
His answer? "Yeah with nearly 400 Facebook friends and only 20 of them have changed their pics, I don't know how effective your posts are."
Like him not supporting me wasn't already douchey enough.
He then goes on to say that it's "sad. a picture shouldn't represent support."
I'm sorry but when you love someone, you support them. Your friends do and say lots of crazy things. I don't think, however, that asking someone to change their Facebook profile picture is crazy or foolish.
I look at my BFF and wonder where the reciprocated support is from him. He's currently in a relationship that I knew/know nothing about other than what he has told me. He told me this guy, when they dated years ago, used to be a drug addict and got my BFF into drugs. This guy verbally and physically got into altercations with my best friend. All my best friend's friends in Washington do not like this guy and have told my friend over and over that they don't approve of the two of them dating. So much that my best friend hid it from many of his friends there when they started to date again last year.
Years later, my best friend is in a serious relationship with this same guy I mentioned above. He tells me the guy is changed. The guy is a born again Christian. That he is a new man that loves and respects him. He says he is 80% sure this guy is the ONE...
Since I'm his best friend, knowing all of this guy's history (or at least what my best friend has told me) how do I react? How do I handle this situation of the two of them in a serious relationship again?
I support them. I support my best friend. Not because its what I necessarily want to do. But because I love my best friend. I want him to be happy. Am I unsettled with memories of their past? Yes. Don't I always say that you should never re-date someone you broke up with since there was obviously a reason you broke up in the first place? You betcha! But this is my best friend. I support his decisions and I don't ask questions. I know he has to live and learn and grow. As do I.
No, a photograph is in no way a comparison to people and relationships. But I guess I'm just hurt that I blindly support my best friend with what he is passionate about and he couldn't do the same for me when all it was, was a photograph.
We all need support. Whether it's a hand, a hug, a handshake, a smile. The simplest things are those that matter most. There are certainly times to abstain from helping and supporting your loved ones. But this was not one of them.
His displaying the pic I asked him to would have been him supporting something I'm passionate about in the most minuscule, easy way he could do it.
Is it really that hard to change a picture for 3 days?
