Why is it that the flakiest people seem to be the ones who are ALWAYS on their mobile phones?
By flaky, I mean the type of friends that will make plans with you at the beginning of the week, then come the day of said plans, flake out and initiate what I like to call radio silence:
They become completely unreachable by phone or text.
Because they know they have acted in a shitty matter, so they put their tails between their legs. Instead of admitting they did anything wrong, they punish ME by just not communicating at all. Making me feel like I'm the one that did something wrong. It has been 2 weeks now since a friend did exactly that: he flaked out on me and still hasn't grown the balls to try and make amends. If I didn't know from him constantly updating his Facebook with his mobile phone, I would think he was dead.
Because that's how much followthrough he has actually displayed.
These are the people that eat sleep shit and breathe with their smart phones. But if you have plans and you call said smart phone addict at 8pm and they don't answer, it is seriously hard to believe that they weren't right next to their phone or that they weren't just screening their calls. Or on their computers. Or connected to their phones/messaging through their computers!
"Oh, sorry I was in bed." Yes because all 20-30 somethings are in bed at 8 pm on a thursday night...
I am so sick in 2013 of having to deal with people that constantly look at the grass on the other side being greener.
Because that's the only thing I can think of. Friends tell me I am fun and crazy. Funny and smart. That I'm always going on some adventure. So I rarely think it is me or my plans that they are bailing on. Nope, they are just selfish and too childish to pick up the phone and flake out like an adult: too much of children to be honest and admit that they just aren't coming, nor are they interested.
If you don't want to go dancing, say something.
If you don't want to go to Folsom anymore, be a man: admit that you really never were going to San Francisco as a weekend to get away with friends, as we had originally talked about. Nope, you had alternative, preconceived plans of being a slut that weekend and it didn't really matter if your friends were going or not. Because in your mind, you already made up your own selfish agenda. Now you aren't speaking to me at all. You have a boyfriend now, so in your mind, you have no reason to go up to the Bay Area for Folsom anymore. It doesn't matter to you that 5 different friends were depending on you to go. Instead of stepping up and admitting this like a man, you passively flaked out on me and won't talk to me because you know that speaking with me will expose how much of a flake you really are. How truly selfish you can be. Which is really disappointing: I really thought you had what it takes to become an L.A. bestie.
I have the distinct pleasure (and misfortune) of having my best friends in states thousands of miles away from me. These friends are my rock. My salvation. I'm talking about you, Ariane! I'm writing about you, Janet! As a result of these long distance bonds, I am constantly searching for a bestie here in L.A. Yet, I have lived here in the city of Angels for off and on 11 years and have found no one that even comes close to my girls and the support system they provide for me. Because they are more than friends: they are family. If they miss a call from me, they feel like they are missing out on a part of their lives. As do I with them. When we talk it's like there was no time in between the last time we talked. We pick up where we last left off and continue our lives, thousands of miles apart. I feel the same. Despite more than 1700 miles between us, I am still closer to them than anyone in Los Angeles. They are my rock. They are my heart. They are my loves. We use the technology of 2013 to do the opposite of flaking: we keep in touch. All the time.
So I don't think it's me. If I'm able to maintain relationships with friends on 5 continents: oceans and miles and miles apart, I'm pretty sure that I'm keeping up with my end of the following through.
I guess I'm just sick of looking for my L.A. best friends. It seems like every time I get someone close to me in my life they end up being flaky. Am I just supposed to put up with it and turn the other way? Am I just supposed to accept that this is a bi-product of 2013 and the smart phone generation? I don't think so.
I have no problem with cancellations. Life happens. Life supersedes plans. I totally get that. But different situations arising does not give you the excuse of flaking out without so much as a phone call or the cop out: a text.
Am I doomed to just put up with this bullshit? I do get lonely and want to hang out in social settings. But it is so goddamned hurtful that friends consistently bail out on me with out so much as a message stating why. Maybe the worst thing is that they are such fucking primitive people they don't even know to apologize in the first place.
And that's probably what hurts the most: they didn't even once consider MY feelings.
Fuck all this shit: I'm becoming a monk.
