New Year’s Revolutions

I’m one that doesn’t like to make resolutions for the new year and will continue to not do so this time around. I never saw a point in pretending to myself that I would change something within my life simply because the calendar marched forward another day. I realized a long time ago that if I really wanted to make a difference in my own life, that I needed a hellova lot more than a date to actually evolve.

I prefer the word revolutions. Because I want a dramatic and wide reaching change versus a selfish and temporary goal towards something I’ll eventually end up abandoning anyway.

If there is one single thing I have learned from 2014 is that nothing comes easy. Life has its ups and downs. And with success comes work and more work. Consequences, too.

2014 saw me accomplish a few of my dreams. I’m a bonafide published author now. (http://www.amazon.com/dp/1631923706 *shameless plug*) I fulfilled my desire to travel with my mom to Paris for her first time. I ventured back to New York for my first time in a decade accompanied by friends and my mother, as well, on her first trip to the city. Costa Rica was visited by us for the third year in a row, too. I joined a kickball team- something my non-athletic-my-whole-life-self thought I would never do. And I love it.

Out of the light, came a lot of darkness. My grandfather passed away just a few weeks ago: he was a hero of mine and the last grandparent I’ll ever have. I lost two best friends this year: One by him revealing what a complete and total shit he was by betraying me and showing his true colors of really being a detriment in my life. The other was my best friend growing up who passed away in late June at the ripe young age of 31. All were surprises to me and completely devastating to me.

I’ve lost friends and lost people, but new friends and new experiences have come around. I’ve suffered many losses in 2014 and each really have shown me how short life can be and that we are all meant to LIVE while we are here. I say in my book: “Life is short. And meant to be lived to the fullest.”

I don’t have any resolutions this year because I don’t do resolutions. Never have. Never will. But if I did, I might resolve to have a lot more sex in the new year. I didn’t quite have enough of it. And I’m going to love more. And be open more. Perhaps that will help me weather out the inevitable bad times en route to the good ones.

The revolution of me won’t be a swift one, but it’s already looking like an epic one…

To 2015 and many years and revolutions to come!

In It For The Goods

Don’t you know what’s out there in the world?

Into the Woods may as well be called “Be Careful What You Wish For,” not just because it is the story about a bunch of fairytale characters whose lives change as results of their desires, but because I simply wished much better for the Disney adaptation of this great musical and story, and I don’t feel like my dreams came true with this one.

When I walked out of the film, I thought of it as a good effort in telling a tale that I’ve seen many times before. I gave it a good solid A-. Yes, I was there with friends and my mother on Boxing Day and had a great time in a beautiful theater. Overall, the experience was rather enjoyable. But upon really reflecting upon my experience of seeing Into The Woods, I realized I wasn’t really that happy with this latest film version.

My first, biggest, and main complaint is the fact that Rob Marshall took a story and completely altered the plot and dramatically changed the ending and some of the characters. Sure, these are fairytale characters, but the musical of Into The Woods’ entire point is giving these characters that we have grown up with our entire lives depth and dimension. The musical asks: what happens after happily ever after? And the answer is not pretty.

Every one of the characters in the musical, in a selfish manner, wishes for something: to go to the ball, to have money, to be accepted, etc. The problem? Wishes have consequences. Dreams take work. And life has responsibilities.

*SPOLIER ALERT*

The original musical Into The Woods sees not one, not two, but nine people die. The wolf is killed by the baker. The narrater is sacrificed to the giant to spare the lives of everyone in the musical. Rapunzel and the baker’s wife are stomped to death by the giant. Jack’s mother is murdered for taunting the giant. The old man passes out dead after having helped the baker obtain a new cow. Little Red finds out her granny was trampled to death as well. The witch either disapates into nothingness, runs herself under the tracks of the giant, or dissolves into a pit of tar–depending on the production. Finally the giant is murdered by Jack, Little Red, the baker, and Cinderella.

The film version gave diligence to three of these deaths, though in some of the stupidest and plot-hole-edness ways I have ever seen. For some reason they made the baker’s wife fall off a cliff. We never actually see her, the baker’s wife, or Jack’s mom die, but at the very end, the baker admits to Jack that his mother is dead. Almost in a “oops, forgot to mention” type of way. Rapunzel lives, the witch disappears, and the old man was just a ghost.

I understand that the production house responsible was Walt Disney Studios and they are grasping at straws to be still considered entirely family appropriate and kid friendly. Maybe it isn’t a good idea to have half of your cast murdered off or squished and have that shown to small children. But is this really a kids movie or story in the first place? Absolutely not. This is a Sondheim piece. Let us not forget the man responsible for the lyrics to West Side Story, and the music to Sweeney Todd, Passions, Company, and Assassins. He isn’t exactly known for being kid-friendly and never has been.

So why the desire to completely alter the story? Yes, these changes don’t seem that drastic, but you are meant to leave the theater with the afore mentioned thought above: be careful what you wish for. We didn’t see *SPOLIER ALERT* Cinderella’s Prince dumping her then running off with Sleeping Beauty. Or Rapunzel’s Prince shacking up with Snow White. (I may have those inverted). In fact, the very last line in the show, following the entire cast’s decision to re-enter the words, is Cinderella singing “I wish.” Honey bear just couldn’t learn her lesson. The film version makes it seem like a place they won’t ever go to again.

My second biggest complaint with the film is that this musical is virtually an opera. It is little dialogue and a lot of music that was removed from the film. I couldn’t believe Sondheim signed off on allowing so many songs to be stricken from the show. With a musical as famous as this one with a soundtrack just as famous, why take the gamble on removing songs that have intricate plot twists interwoven into the lyrics?

Everyone of the songs tell its own story and everyone of the songs has its own life moral. Why cheat us out of some of the lessons Into The Woods is meant to teach us about life?



Third, some effects were completely lost on the film and utterly lackluster. The stage version has an awe inspiring transformation for the witch from an ugly old woman to a beautiful young lady. We didn’t see this as, God love her, Meryl is neither beautiful nor young and her transformation lackluster. Same with The Last Midnight. The witch is telling everyone to fuck off and that she is over it and out. I hardly got any joy and certainly no excitement from seeing what is arguably the finest number of the show being simplified. One of the stars of the show is THE WOODS and I just never felt the movie got that: enchantment and fear that the woods instilled. The woods represented the character’s hopes, transformations, and loss. There was nothing enchanting about the movie’s forest. I guess I just really didn’t feel the magic that you feel when seeing this show live.



Maybe Disney just wanted a cash cow. Knowing that if they made it more kid friendly and billed it as a family and holiday film, they would rack in more money. Maybe they thought re-telling of the story with a more optimistic outcome would pay off in the way they remade Alice in Wonderland and gave that story a positive outcome? The problem is, Alice’s story is already miserable: everyone in Wonderland wants to deceive and kill her, so giving her story any hope seemed logical for Disney in the new millennium. The difference? The new ending left you feeling better about life, Alice, and the original Carroll story.

That is not the case of Into The Woods, a story that many claim is an analogy for the AIDS epidemic and crisis. Changing 8 people dying to only 3 still leaves the audience feeling saddened and at a loss. We don’t know where the witch went. What happens to the remaining 4 leads? Where did the princes go? So much of the movie was left unraveled that the musical neatly cleans up in the end. Maybe because the musical ending is all too real because life isn’t pretty. Maybe there really is no happily ever after because the reality of life sinks in. The trials and tribulations of living. These are the internal questions Into The Woods the musical asks of its viewers.

The film version tries its best to be a happily ever after tale or at least wrap up in a positive way and really kind of falls flat on its face. You are meant to feel the angst of having lost the entire cast. You are supposed to feel sad and lost as a result of seeing the character’s hardships. And you are supposed to realize the very statement I have said this entire write up: be careful what you wish for. Because sometimes wishes come true with unwanted consequences.

I only wish that instead of turning this story into a money making machine, that the producers would have stayed true to the original tale- a fairytale musical with very real morals and situations. I wish…

JUST SAY NO!!! to sex

YAY! The Obama Admin and the FDA has finally lifted their ban on gay men donating blood. AWESOME!



But wait--there's a catch: homosexual males must abstain from sexual intercourse with another man for a year to be able to qualify. They argue that this is in compliance with many other country's regulations on blood donation.

I'm sorry, but who in 2015 gives up sex for a year??? A degenerate? A nun? A monk? Straight, gay, orange, blue...no one ditches doing the nasty for a year and certainly not in order to do something as small and simple like giving blood.



Lest I remind this country that we test our blood supply these days and that this new policy doesn't stop some white frat guy from banging 50 chicks without as much as a regular medical check-up before bleeds into a tube and donates. But god forbid we allow gay men, who want to contribute to the blood supply that is already in desperate need of donations and replenishing, the right to do so. How is this not being told we have to sit at the back of the bus?



God forbid you actually treat gay people like more than second class citizens, either. In a sense, being told you have to refrain from frolicking for a year in order to participate is just as bad as being you can't sit at the table with the rest of us in the first place.

The LA Lie

Reality TV and every other movie producer has made sure no one thinks the streets of Hollywood are paved in gold anymore. Not all of us Angelenos are even in the entertainment industry, either. These are truths about our city: the facts ma'am, just the facts.

With all light, there is dark. With every angel there's a demon. With every city, comes an alternative underbelly of an underworld. And the city of Angels is no exception. There is an air of deception so prevalent in the every day lives of southern Californians, you could cut it with a knife. A deceit so powerful, it can mend or end relationships.

I'm talking about

THE LA LIE

No, this is not regarding the amount of work one has had done on their faces nor the amount of trolls one owns up to having shagged in their lifetime. Nope. This bit of fibbery has nothing to do with physical appearances but more to do with physically appearing any place in an allotted amount of time. Indeed, the LA Lie is all about time and our complete and total inability to utilize it correctly in Los Angeles.

What exactly the hell am I talking about? I'm meaning the little white lies and often big black boldface tales of trickery told to cover our asses in moments of tardiness. Punctuality is no longer a virtue. It's a mirage hidden in an oasis that Angelenos never seem to find--lost in a desert sea of our own selfishness. 

How did we become such compulsive liars when it comes to making plans? I'm of the mind that this merciless mindset stems from another Angeleno trait: LA Impatience. Try being honest with a friend about being late and it always, ALWAYS backfires in our face.

"Babers- I'm gonna be 15 minutes late."

-"WHAT? 15 minutes? What am I supposed to do for that long? WAIT?!? Ugh. Let's just reschedule."-

Or:

-"Where are you? We are already so late and I don't want to be later."-

"Love, I told you I just go off work. I won't even be home for 20. Then I need to change."

-"Oh, God! KST! By the time you get ready, it'll already be 9:30 and that will only leave us 5.5 straight hours of non-stop binge drinking. Whatever. We're leaving without you."-

Despite the fact that, although you two had probably been planning whatever venture you were going on for weeks, Angelenos hate waiting. For fucking anything. And they cancel on you. At a moments notice. All for the fact that they hate waiting. 

So we lie. We twist the truth. We spin Charlotte's Webs of delicious deceit in order to cover our own asses so that we do not get cancelled on and as a way of sustaining the friendships and relationships around us. Because--after all--what's a lil lie gon' hurt?

How does one spot the LA Lie in all its luster? Well, here is a short list of lavish lies dished out by Angelenos to help you recognize the ridiculousness. This will enable to respond with a perfect: "Gurrrl, you lyin'!" In the future.

*"SEE YOU IN A FEW HOURS"

-This means you are lucky if you will see your friend at all. You might as well of asked a Brazilian to commit to an exact specific date for something.

*"I'LL BE THERE IN 30!"

-This means you're either still in the shower or haven't even jumped in yet. You've no intention of arriving in under 45.

*"JUST GOT OUTTA THE SHOWER"

-This usually mean what it says it means, though without the slightest hint of a swift departure or a punctual arrival.

*"I'M ON MY WAY!"

-Bitch- you still can't even find your wallet or your shoes!

*"SEE YOU SOON!"

-Honey you're lucky if you see me at all.

*"LOOKING FOR PARKING!"

-Traffic is a bloody nightmare and I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel for any excuse as to why I'm that much later.

*"BE THERE IN 10."

-There isn't a snowball's chance in hell that I'll see you in less than 20, but here's to dreaming!

*"PARKED!"

-I'm just barely here (if not still 3 minutes away) and I haven't found parking yet.

*"WALKING UP!"

-just parked.

*"I GOT LOST!"

-GPS and all other 2015 ways of navigating the streets suddenly stopped working--probably because my smartphone couldn't handle playing Pandora, talking on speakerphone streaming through Bluetooth, and the influx of a reloading map every 10 seconds--so I'm still 5 minutes away. Do I have time for a Starbucks quickie, too?!

*"IT WAS TODAY? SHIT! I REALLY WANTED TO GO."

-You would rather chew tree bark than go to that shit show in the first place. I mean, sure, you started to get ready, but once you realized it was funner having a underwear dance party in your living room, you knew there was no way you woulda made it anyways.

This is the LA Lie in all its glory.

You've been warned, Los Angeles. As long as cars, traffic, technology, vanity, perpetual business, and selfishness endure, the LA Lie will thrive. Either accept the fact that we are all a bunch of filthy liars or get over waiting in the first place. That's the only advice I've got.

Sorry for the bluntness--I'm just an Angeleno being honest.

A Call to Arms!

Don't get me wrong, there is a lot going on in the world today. Revolutions. Famine. Rebellions. War. Lots of war. Even here in the United States, we are at war. For the last several months we too have been a nation divided. Angry divisions over race, ethics, immigration, politics, and the media.

So much strife has built up in the last few weeks in America that people who were once allies are now enemies. Friends with similar opinions now have their individual biases exposed as a result of the constant feuding that has been going on.

Now, I'm not saying these are issues that we need to sweep under the rug or dismiss because they're items of contention. What I am asking for, though, is an armistice. A battle cry from me to you asking for us to stop the bickering, stop the fighting,and stop the assumptions.

One thing that was said to me recently rang so true, was that I don't know other people's lives. It's true: I don't know your life and your struggles. And you don't know mine. What I do know, however, is that we have one planet to share together. One small world and that's it.
I've decided to lay down my torch and pitchfork, put down my verbal guns, and walk away as unscathed as I possibly can.

Instead I've picked up a new torch. I found a new reason to be angry. A cause to be really be upset over. A war that we can all fight and one that really shouldn't divide any of us.

Will you side with me, here and now--and battle together with the rest of the troops-- in an effort to stomp out a war that we have been winning and losing for 30+ years?

AIDS

When I was a teenager, that word and those bloody initials used to stand for a punishment by death for older gay men in gay Meccas--something that had happened to them in the 80s as a result of their promiscuity. People in the Midwest were immune to this big city disease, or so I also foolishly thought. This ignorant and bigoted outlook was only personally negated for me when I lost my first friend and role model to the disease back in the early 90s.

Now, tens of my friends are living, not dying of HIV, not AIDS. 30+ million people are living with HIV around the world and nearly 36 Million people have perished of AIDS since the outbreak of the disease. AIDS continues to be the single biggest cause of death in Africa and death amongst African children between the ages of 9-19.

Since only August of 2012, the HIV transmission rates are up 132% in America. That's just two years, people, of nearly doubling the amount of transmission rates. In this country, modern scientific advancements have allowed those living with the disease to lead as normal of lives as possible. So why the onslaught of newly diagnosed people?



I attribute this to two things:

First, the fact that we have conquered the disease and have made so many advancements that it is no worse of a diagnosis than diabetes due to how little the medicines allow the disease to affect your life. This has lead to a complacency amongst out people thinking that there is no further need to irradiate an illness that "no longer kills".

Second, the stigma. Despite the fact that we watched 30+ years of this fucked up illness killing people, yet now people are living lives fully, despite the fact that ALL scientific research points out the FACT that those living with an undetectable viral load CANNOT TRANSFER the virus to anyone, and despite that fact this info and breakthrough was and is being poured out into news sources around the world, there is still so much stigma against the disease and those living with it.
Most of this is based upon ignorance.

Yesterday, in fact, I had a friend deny that the scientific research presented from thousands of agencies is not 100% correct and that those who are undetectable can transfer the disease from one person to the other. Or that living with the disease requires a cocktail of medications that have fiercely unwanted side effects. Neither of these are true. This is my point. Until we start the discussion we cannot end the stigma. Stigma is what keeps people in the closet, keeps those from receiving proper treatment, and therefore keeps the disease spreading out of fear of what it means to be branded by society as "unclean".



You may ask: what can you do to help? How can I make a difference in a world filled with so many problems?

Actually there's a lot you can do.

First, go get tested!!! I cannot stress enough how important it is to know your status and to know where you stand. If for no other reason so that you don't infect anybody else if you are positive. So that the disease and the virus ends with you. Ends with me. Because again, once you get treatment, you cannot pass a disease on to somebody else. In fact, researchers suggest that if everyone who tested positive for the HIV virus was put on meds and became undetectable, then there would be no AIDS in 10 years.



Second, and this is just as important as the first rule, is start talking about it. Have conversations with your friends: have you been tested? What's your viral load? How long is it been since your last test? Your positive – how are your meds? What does it mean to be living with HIV? Only until we engage ourselves in conversation will we ever be able to really conquer this disease and end the stigma surrounding it.

But wait, there's more! So much more. If you really want to be part of the revolution that is the changing face of medicinal treatments for the disease, then donate. Not just your money because your bank and your wallet will only cover so much. Who really has enough money to be that philanthropic these days anyways? But there are plenty of ways that you don't have to spend a dime to contribute to ending this disease. Volunteer at your local AIDS healthcare center. Join a calling tree. Help volunteer with AMFAR, AHF, and other HIV and AIDS health organizations. I didn't have the money nor the willpower to feel like I would be able to raise enough money to ride in AIDS lifecycle, so instead I volunteered as a roadie. This will cost me nothing but will help so many people and will probably change me forever. Don't want to leave the house but still feeling like you want to contribute? Then tweet! Facebook! Instagram instead! Hell, even repost this blog post. From the confines of your home, being charitable has never been so easy. Think social media doesn't really work? It does. My friends' posts on social media got me to write this post in the first place.

Talking about it and communication are the single biggest tools we have in combatting this virus and disease.

Prince Harry has issued a call to arms today to honor World AIDS Day, much in the way that I'm asking you to take up arms. He is asking everyone to reveal a secret to your friends (much in the way revealing your status is often kept a secret due to the stigma) with the hashtag #FeelNoShame attached to it. This is a campaign aiming to "raise awareness of how eradicating shame and stigma can save the lives of HIV sufferers, empowering them to seek medical support and eduction about their condition, and preventing the virus from spreading." So if all you do today is reveal a secret with #FeelNoShame next to it, then you have already helped someone else out living with their secret.



(I, too, have a secret: I was addicted to OTC pain pills for 16 years of my life. Luckily through opening up about it and sharing my secret, I am no longer a victim of my own addiction. But there were years that I struggled with telling anyone. #FeelNoShame)

In a world so big with so many problems it is hard to see that one person can make a difference. But that one person may be you, and your actions could change the future for a lot of people.

Thank you for reading.

www.amfar.org www.aidslifecycle.org
www.ahf.org