The other day, my BFF--as a total prank--sent me pictures of some men involved in shitting on themselves. While barely holding in my lunch, I asked him why he sent me some scat-master porn. He responded "the world is full of wonder", and pointed out that everyone in the photos was white. I did have to admit that I had never seen an African American individual involved in shit.
Though seeing those poopy pics made me want to puke, they also made me stop and really think about how different people can be and the crazy shit--pun intended--they get into, sexually.
Ask yourself: how did people first get into poo? Was it something they woke up to after a crazy night of bombed drinking and said, "That's hot"? Maybe it is just an unexplained desire? Genetics?
I just vomited a little at the thought of caca, but I'm going to continue.
What makes people into the kinks they are into? Some men like to dress up in women's clothes. Some couples like to ride double-headed dildos with their partners in a "ass to ass" Requiem for a Dream-formation. Some people like to be peed on. Some like to pee. Some spanking. Some leather. Some dog costume. Some mermen costumes. Dolls. Some in the butt. Some in the cooter. Some love to swallow. Some won't go down on you like a nun in a chastity belt. Some prefer head. Others prefer rimming. Some on top. Some on bottom. Some flip flop like a House of Cards episode. Sex outside. Sex inside. Sex in the locker room. Sex as someone else. Sex and the Shitty 3.
And have you ever thought about this: what if you met the person of your dreams and wanted to spend the rest of your life with them... But they were into le poopoo?!
Makes me question how many relationship splits happen secretly because of unmatched desires or out of sync fetishes. What if you had waited your whole life for someone who was also into dressing up like cheetahs? Or being tied up? Or into the same kinks you are into? I can't imagine what it would be like to have to deal with trying to find someone else into chocolate.
How would you react? As someone who can't stand getting near anyone's ass unless they've douched 'er out like a tidal wave, one whiff of anything unsanitary and I go flaccid faster than if I were forced to watch two lesbians scissoring. So the poopy is off the platter for me and would most certainly be a reason to end the relationship. Sorry german sheiße fanatics.
But what about if said potential love interest was into something else a little freaky-deaky? Would their debauchery be a deal-breaker? Would you be down with literally treating your partner like a dog? Licking armpits? Extreme pain? Sounding? Double headed dildoing? Swinging? Slinging? Threesome clinging?
In the words of Depeche Mode, people are people. People are always gonna be into some weird shit. Life is about trying to connect with someone into the same crazy shit as yourself. Should I hate on anyone for their sexual proclivities? I think not. I may not be down with the brown, but I'm also sure that not everyone is into flip fuck faggotry either. To each his own.
