STUDY ABROAD 17: Paris and the Red Light District Affair

Paris

July 23rd, 2009:

Today was finals day in both teacher's classes. The Zusman final was good. I felt solid about it. Simpson's bloody final was rubbish! (Keep in mind after reading these entries that I submitted this very journal to Professor Simpson for a grade!) I spent all that time reading all of the required reading material, and yet Simpson's test had little to nothing to do with the actual reading. It had little to do with pertinent information and more to do with stupid shit like which author was married to whom or where they were from, or if they were English or Scottish or Irish.



Nothing to do with what these people actually wrote. It really bugs me that I probably flunked the final because of how fucking lame that test was! Oh well, finals means school is out for summer, and that I would never have to take another class from that hippy again!

Professor Simpson spent so many lectures talking to us about opening our doors of perception that I don't think it ever would have occurred to him that we would use that as an excuse against him. The group was supposed to go to the Musee d'Orscy. But we had done so many tours of so many museums at this point and were so done with his class that we said "F it" and went shopping instead. Our doors wanted to not perceive anymore bloody art or history! We spent a mild amount of time on the Champs-Elysées and a good amount of time in a gay men's clothing designer's boutique: Mike Sweetman.

I had an interesting experience doing laundry today. I was sick of not being able to work out all the fabulous clothes I had worn in London, so I went around the corner to do laundry. It was very different. Their laundromats are much smaller than ours, but they have the same tiled floors and same terrible lighting. One thing that was interesting is the baskets or carts you transport your wet laundry from the washer to the dryer weren't carts at all. They were these knee high tripod looking baskets with handles that extended from the basket's foot tall status up until about your waste: no wheels, just legs. Very interestingly impractical, if you ask me.

We celebrated the end of school by drinking and shopping, shopping and drinking, and more drinking and shopping!



Ernie and I returned to Mike Sweetman's store and each of us bought several hundreds of Euros worth of clothes!





At night, we all got dressed up and we all met up in the lobby to have our final meal together as a group and take a boat cruise down the Seine river.



Our guide to take us to dinner was this very attractive, blue-eyed guy named Xavier. As it turned out, Rachel was the only one on the entire trip who spoke any French at all, and Rachel is also really hot, so she and our hottie guide Xavier hit it off well as we rode the bus to the restaurant.



Mikey and I left during dinner to go to the red light district to hang out with a deaf, mute hooker who gave us free beer- which was pretty awesome! It just so happens that in the Red light district one can also buy hash and ganga, too!



We barely made it back to the restaurant in time to load the bus to head towards the Eiffel Tower and river.



When we arrived, we learned we had 30 minutes before departure, so Mikey and I beelined it to the snack shop. Well, standing in line for a beer proved to take too long: we realized the boat left without us! Mikey and I missed dinner and the cruise!

In this case and in every other situation on this trip, I have tried to remain positive through it all. I was bummed that we missed the boat (literally), but there, standing before us, was the Eiffel tower!



We hadn't officially been up in the tower, so that is exactly what we did. The views from up there at night were incredible. I now know why they say Paris is the city of lights! We might have missed the boat, but we still had a good time.




I even got my tits out on the Eiffel Tower like Eddie made Saffy in AbFab!





Some Absinthe was waiting for us when we got back to the hotel, which made for an excellent night cap!

2013: My year in review

2013 has been a roller coaster of a year.

Many highs, many lows.

For me, 2013 was def a year of travel and conquest.

In January, I finished my book of short stories.



In February, it was off to our favourite vacay desty: COSTA RICA! La pura vida!!!



In April, I had a Summer of Love/ Haight Ashbury birthday party to ring in my 31 years on this earth!



In June, I watched with tears in my eyes as sec. 5 of DOMA fell and California's Proposition 8 was finally, after 5 years, defeated.




I also kickstarted this Blog!

Two weeks later, I was off on another European adventure just as the UK legalized Marriage Equality!



Berlin for my second time and Prague for my first proved to be a crazy two weeks in Europa!





When I returned, I got news that would change my life forever.



In August, it was off to Florida to meet up with my mom and sister for my cousin's wedding!



September was work work work until Danny and I ventured up to San Francisco for Folsom!



October is my mostest favouritest month of the year and I celebrated in style with friends as Macklemore:



November would see me visit 4 countries: Russian Federation, Spain, Italy, and Vatican City.



November also saw Marriage Equality pass in Illinois, a victory that I feel proud to say I was a part of. By the end of 2013, 18 US states now have marriage equality. 40% of our country now live in states where marriage equality is legal.



December has proven to be low key, though I have made final edits for my book and it will be ready to send out to publishers at the beginning of the new year.

My mom came out to visit me for Christmas, I started a serial on my blog of my short story STUDY ABROAD, and worked my tushy off!



Anways, this was just a little look at some of the crazy adventures I got into in 2013. It's always good to reflect on your past year so you can move forward into the new year wiser, stronger, and better. It was a year of extreme highs and lows.



Have a safe and happy New Year's Eve to all my family and friends around the world.

Here's to an absolutely fabulous 2014!

STUDY ABROAD 16: Paris

Paris

July 22nd, 2009:

Jenny and I woke up and had breakfast at the hotel. We stopped in at a cafe as per usual, grabbed some coffee, and walking down the Rue de Rivoli for awhile until class started. Class was blah and one can tell that the teachers are really starting to get over it as well.

We went shopping all over the neighborhood after class. We walked by La Concord and le Grande train station, all the while knowing we had to meet up with the group at 1:45 at le Louvre. I'm typically excellent with maps and directions, but by the time I realized how far away we were, I realized we only had 20 minutes to get there. I had been specifically warned to be on time because we could only enter as a group.

Time was ticking by faster and faster and I couldn't foresee the girls I was with - Julia, Jenny, and Manon - racing as fast as they could to get to the Louvre.



I saw on the map that we had a little less than a mile to go and only 6 minutes to get there. I stopped in my tracks and took my bag off of my shoulder.

"Here, hold this," I said, and handed my bag to Jenny. I then stripped off my shirt and told the girls that I would run ahead to get the tickets and secure us a spot.

And run I did. I had run a lot during my time thus far on the trip, and today was probably the fastest I had run yet. I was not about to be late to this! By the time I arrived at the Louvre, I was a hot, sweaty, shirtless mess.



I couldn't find anyone from our party, so I kept running around all the stupid glass pyramids outside the museum trying to find them. When I finally saw the group arrive a little before 2, I ran right over to them and was glad to see them.



Andrew just took one look at me and was like, "Why are you all sweaty and have no shirt?"

I told him why, to which he said, "No, we didn't have to be here at 1:45, we had to be here at 2."

I just looked at him and said, "No Andrew, you are wrong. Both teachers said in class that we had to be there at 1:45. I ran and didn't realize you guys would be late."

"But we weren't late Koelen," Andrew demanded in a his whiny ass voice. "Pierre said after class for us all to meet here at 2."

God why did he have to fucking argue with me?

"Well I didn't hear him say that Andrew, and when the teachers tell the entire group to be someplace at a certain time and then it gets changed, they need to make sure everyone is informed so shit like this doesn't happen again."

Andrew butted in, "But we were informed…"

So I interrupted him back, "Jesus Andrew just quit fucking arguing with me, ok? Jesus Christ you are so annoying."



And I walked off. I almost slapped him then and there. We are all getting a little annoyed with Andrew and we are all beginning to hate his and Felix's little comments. They make shitty comments as if they know everything, when really they don't know anything.

After waiting for nearly an hour to get into the Louvre, we were inside, but we were on a mission. Jenny, the girls, and I had not finished our shopping for the day. Jenny had been to the Louvre and I had been to so many museums at this point that I was truly getting over it. We had a plan: we were gonna haul ass to the Mona Lisa,



spy the Venus with no wings,



and glance at some Van Gogh. And that's exactly what we did. 45 minutes later, we were out of that museum and headed towards the Marais for some vintage shopping. I ended up liking the architecture of the Louvre more than the actual art in it!



Apparently others in our group had a different means of coping with all the tourists in the Louvre. Jacob -or Jew-cob as he has affectionately been called by the guys- and Mikey basically stole a wheelchair, threw Jacob's crazy ass in the seat, and Mikey pushed Jacob in said chair throughout the entire museum.



They used Jacob's disabled status to get everywhere in the museum: including all the elevators, back of house, and front of line access to every famous piece in the museum.



Their con completely worked and I applaud them for it!



That night, several of us went out dancing at the gay bars again. Mikey got so wasted he was screaming derogatory things at innocent French people on the street, and we finally got him home. But not before getting lost first. We stopped and asked this couple where to go and they literally took us 8 blocks out of their way to get us to where we needed to go. Whomever said that the French or Parisians have no manners and are rude…obviously hasn't studied abroad in London. The French couldn't have been nicer. Apparently, some of the rest of the group had gone Absinthe tasting, had brought the delicious liquor back to the hotel, and were having a pool party with it. We ended up in the pool till well passed 4 in the morning and had a great time that night.

STUDY ABROAD 15: Versailles- Let 'em Eat Cake!

Versailles

July 21st, 2009:

Jenny and I woke today and decided to use our independent study time to catch up on our reading and have coffee at a cafe a few blocks from our school. We decided that the Cafe Deux Magots was the best for people watching, and so we both lived like classic Parisians for the moment: we both ordered espresso. 

When we arrived in class, Professor Simpson told us that Deux Magots was probably the most famous cafe in all of Paris and that many famous people had dined and people watched there!

After class, we had a lunch break before we were to be back in front of the school to board a bus and head to Versailles. Jenny and I ate a brief lunch and I wanted to get back to the bus early to make the point of me being there on time and ready to go. She and I were the first to arrive at 1:20 and the bus was not yet there. I announced to the others, who slowly started showing up after the bus got there, that I was going to go use the restroom. 

I got out of the restroom after literally only taking a 2 minute pee stop, and walked out of the front of the building. I could see the bus across the street from me, but it was a very busy street with lots of traffic driving by, so I had to wait. To my dismay and utter surprise the bus starts up and starts to drive away. I started out into the busy traffic and was yelling and screaming for the bus to stop. I could see my fellow travel mates look at me from within the bus, yet the bus didn't stop: it kept going!

I finally was able to wade through all the busy traffic without ending up road kill and started chasing after the bus, which was now a good two blocks away. I was literally running as fast as I could and kept telling myself: I'm getting on that fucking bus!!!  I kept running and thought I had a breakthrough when the bus was stopped at a red light. 

But the light turned green and the bus started up again. I was yelling and the Parisians on the street that I was nearly running into must have thought I was crazy, but I didn't care. I was determined. The bus got so many blocks ahead of me that I thought all was lost. I almost stopped running altogether, but then I saw the bus pull over to the curb and stop. All of a sudden, I see Iggi running out of the bus towards me and I could not have been happier to see him! I could hardly catch my breath, nor he his, when we finally caught up to one another.

"You guys left me," I said, gasping for air. "I was waving and you fucking left me!"

"It's ok," Iggi said. "Miranda left her purse in the bathroom so we had to go back, anyways."

Miranda left her purse in the bathroom so we had to go back, anyways. 

Great to know the fucking bus stopped for me and not some dumb fucking bag! 

I brushed it off and started running back towards the school with Iggi to go get her bag. We tried communicating in English and broken French to the receptionist to no avail. And we could not find Miranda's bag in the bathroom or anywhere. I kept looking, and Iggi went downstairs. He soon came back up and said,

"It's ok. She found her bag, she had it on the bus the whole time. So we can go."

I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror in the hallway. I was dripping in sweat and was very visibly shaken and upset. I trudged down the stairs and out the front door of the building. I literally felt like crying or screaming or just passing out, but I lifted my head and stepped up the 3 stairs onto the bus. There, I was greeted with several members of my classmates and Professor Zusman saluting me with a single simultaneous clap, to which afterwards they all laughed at me. That shit INFURIATED me.

I looked at them all and let them have it! 

"You think its fucking funny? YOU FUCKING LEFT ME! I was one of the first ones here and you left me! I was fucking waving my arms and screaming down the street and you left me. I went back and have been trying to find Miranda's bag like a nice guy and you fucking left me! If that happened to you, you wouldn't think it's so goddamned funny!"

Everyone on the bus turned white and were silent. Then the tour guide had to put in her two cents:

"You need to sit down. We are late and there is going to be so much traffic," she said, grabbing my arm and waving her duck head umbrella in my face. To which I jerked my arm out of her hand and screamed at her:

"Don't tell me what to do: You LEFT ME!" I screamed in her face. "How could you just leave me? I almost was killed and you didn't give a fuck about me. Don't fucking touch me!"

I sat down in my seat and didn't even look at her as she backed away in silence. I hadn't yelled at anyone like that in a very long time and I was shaking, I was so upset. I literally just sat there to myself and took my shirt off so I could sweat it out and breathe. No one really talked to me the entire way there, and I was still a little upset by the time we reached the wall surrounding the city of Versailles. 

We all filed single file off the bus, and I knew I had one more thing to do before I could go any further with these people on the trip. I walked right up to Professor Zusman and the group that had clapped at me.

"Look, what you guys did was really not fucking cool. That really pissed me off and never would I sit there and clap like that for you had you been through what I went through. It really upset me and hurt me that you guys made fun of me like that. That is all."

And I pretty much walked away. A few of them gave me some lame ass apologies, but I had said my peace. I was kind of over all of them at that point. I went into the palace and stayed behind the group and on my own as much as possible.

 I really enjoyed how beautiful the palace was, but there was so many tourists in there that I could hardly breathe, so I went out into the gardens. That and I could hardly hear/ not give a shit about our crazy bitch of a duck head umbrella clutching tour guide!

 I met up with Rachel and Ernie and was glad too, because I feel like I hadn't hardly even hung out with Rachel since our first night in London. I love them both.

Andrew was constantly leeching onto her and always by her side, and he annoyed the shit out of me with his know-it-all-edness, so seeing her alone and getting to hang out with her was fun.

Before we knew it, it was time to go back to Paris and back to our hotel.