I mean, I love sex, and anytime I can get it is #winning in my eyes.
But the mornings? (Granted that's when us guys are UP!) I just don't feel that sexy in the mornings.
7 Sins of MORNING SEX:
1. Bed hair. 'Nuff said...
2. I've got eye crusties in my eyes...
3. I most likely would have taken my contacts out. So unless I'm wearing my librarian marm glasses, then I'm blinder than Hellen Keller in a cave...
4. Morning breath...
5. I always take forever to wake up...so I'm really only about as conscious as my bed table...
6. I sweat worse than a wanton whore at Christmas in my sleep...so who knows if I'm smelling like a Parisian gym or not...
7. And typically I feel all bloated and dirty. Sleep in Koelen Land is serious business! It ain't pretty!...
Ugh I just feel gross in the mornings. I try not to let my inner Bree van der Kamp out and let all of that obsessing ruin a good morning romp...
But can't we fuck at night like normal folks?
Someone come slap the fuck outta me now and tell me to shut up about my #firstworldproblems!
