Friday, October 4, 2013

SLUMlord Millionaire


Anyone else live in an apartment with a slum lord?

I live in a great apartment in the heart of Stepford, and yet I constantly am dealing with the poor decisions of a slumlord corporation and their shenanigans.

Every time I put in a work order in the 4.5 years that I have lived here, something goes wrong. Typically I wait 3 weeks before hearing back from anyone. Carol, the cunt faced demon whore who runs the office and maintenance at Holley Property Management, some how always manages to fuck things up so bad that I get into screaming confrontations on the phone with her.

More than 8 times I have called for plumbing issues or window issues. She's say to me (short and rudely, I might add):

"I'll have the maintenance guys call you." Or "I'll have the plumber call you"

And then they never call. Nope. They just bang on my door at 7 am with a work order that I never approved, nor signed off on. Or they burst into my apartment when I'm laying on my couch masturbating without any previous notice given to me that they were even coming.

If it was the first time or 3rd time, I might understand.

Yesterday, I called at 12 noon. Told them about my plumbing issues: my bathtub water is running constantly and has been for 2 weeks. (I've only waited it out this long to call them because every time I call them, something shitty happens like them sending Illegal aliens here to my house who "fix" the problem, leave my room trashed with dirt and plumbing stuff, and then do such a bad job that the bathtub needs to be refixed 8 months later.)

Cunty Carol says: "Ok I'll have the plumber call you." Thinking it would be another 3 weeks before I ever saw the light of day of a plumber at my door, I thanked her and got off the phone. Of course it being 12 noon, I don't understand why they just didn't call me back that day. But whatever. No matter.

So at 7 am this morning I'm awoken outta my bed at a banging on my door. Hard. When I asked who was banging on my door, he told me it was the plumber. I told him I didn't have a work order. Even still, I begrudgingly let him inside my house then called my apartment manager office and got Carol. I said who I was and asked if it was her I spoke to yesterday. It was.

"Ok Carol, then I kind of don't understand why you told me you were going to have them call me before just showing up."

Instead of doing what a normal person in the SERVICE industry, like this bitch is, woulda done like said: "oh im so sorry", she decided to go into turbo bitch mode:

"What? I told you I'd put in a work order." In a tone as snatchy as the day is blue.

So I say to her:

"I kind of don't get what you don't understand about giving me notice and communicating..."

(She didn't let me finish) "What? I did communicate! I don't have to listen to this. I don't have time and I'm gonna hang up if..."

"What? Are you kidding me? I was sleeping and then get woken up by..."

"You put in a work order. Deal with it."

That's when I lose my shit: "No you OBVIOUSLY did NOT COMMUNICATE and If you would LEARN TO DO YOUR FUCKING JOB INSTEAD OF BEING SUCH A GODDAMNED BITCH ALL THE TIME, THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN. YOU DON'T JUST SEND WORKERS TO SOMEONE'S HOUSE WILLY NILLY, YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

And that's when we both hung up. Yes, I did lose my shit and go off on her. Had this been her first, second, even 4th time at the rodeo, I woulda went easier on her. But it wasn't. This is how she handles situations and she needs to be fired. Kind of like the federal government: if you suck that bad at your job, maybe you shouldn't have your job anymore.

I also love that any work order takes forever to process with me, but this one: my leaking bathtub which is costing them money in water billage, gets handled with a dramatic urgency. Never have I ever received a worker THE DAY after calling a maintenance issue in.

How would you like an unexpected plumber stranger banging on your door at 7 am?

Any ideas of what I can do? I'm going to write the city now and complain about her/them. What about the better business bureau?